Beerasana

the play's the thingamajig

Well, hell, I thought orders would be pouring in for for our cutting-edge shopping bags. It's so hard to tell what the people want sometimes. Today we'll try Beerasana's contribution to the night of 1-minute plays, Tampa Bay Plays 60:25, all of which can be seen here. The actors were great, thank god.


great moments in marketing

High-end yoga clothing retailer Lululemon has been the target of some derision since debuting their Atlas Shrugged-inspired "Who is John Galt?" shopping bag. Lulu responded by posting the Lit 101 paper their founder Chip wrote when he was 18. The comments are great. But Beerasana says, if Stephen Colbert loves it, we love it, too. Beerasana humbly offers a few more inspirational heroes for Lululemon to consider.


don't say we never did anything for you

Hey, you want something easy? We've got your something easy. Here's a little forward-folding sequence designed to stretch out your backsides, hips and inner thighs. As opposed to long-hold, static stretches, these are dynamic stretches, where we keep moving, eventually increasing our reach. Move steadily — no bouncing!

This is Katelyn's jingle, I'm just along for the ride. Notice how much less flexible I am in all ways. That's why we do the yogas.


That wind sound dies down after a few.


afternoon delight

When you don't have time to think, just do this.


the powerful beer and yoga lobby

I went a-Googling for an Einstein quote that Katelyn's yoga playbook is open to, and turned up this charming debate at The Skeptics Society Forum. Einstein said a lot of woo stuff in his life, so of course he's a favorite of we people who like our physics so far as we can grasp them, and our woo so far as it seems to make sense of our worlds. In the case of this particular quote about energy, I don't know whether or not Einstein said it, or if he did, exactly what he meant, but I don't think that matters much. Look at this collection of Einstein-isms. But, the very basic gist of it is that we can increase our happiness by identifying with that which makes us happy. Simple shit. On the other hand, identifying with a ridiculous fantasy, like the one where you'll be a millionaire one day so let's keep voting Republican, is harmful to yourself and everyone. You won't be a millionaire one day. Get over it.

Half of all working Americans made less than $26,364 last year. HALF. Of all WORKING. And ALL American cats made $0 last year, while doing zero work. They are the ultimate welfare queens. Their sense of entitlement, appalling. Yet we enable them. Because of their extreme cuteness.

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." - Enistein

To summarize, please vote with your brain, your compassion, your imagination, and your cold hard facts. Also, you'll never be a millionaire, but you ARE rich. Just look at your life! Lucky fuckers.


mews you can use

My sister's girlfriend spends her free time writing beautiful songs and making adorable videos. My girlfriend spends her free time picking fights with Nature, though Nature be armed with waves, boulders, and gravity. So it's fitting that on the day they went mountain biking together, Nathalia made a little movie of it. Yes, there are some hills in Florida.

A lot of the normal-life stuff we do tightens up our frontsides and weakens our backsides: hunching over this machine, for example. That's why I LOVE BACKBENDS. Cyclists (and bikers) exacerbate this hunchy problem in their leisure time. You don't want to get the kyphosis (or as Katelyn says, "HUNCHback"), even if it would improve your Halloween costume. Pedalers (and peddlers) develop tight, strong hammies, so those need attention and lengthening, as do your glutes (or as Katelyn says below, which she never says in class, "buttocks"). Also, your calves, hips, neck and shoulders. Alright? Here is a collage meant to illustrate what you don't want to look like in your off-the-bike life.

dont be a t.rex

So today, Katelyn's made one for all you athletes and mathletes, especially locomotors with a two-wheel preference. Please feel free to share your thoughts and unrelated opinions in the Beerasana Bar, aka the Dorkboard, at right.

Thank you, come again!


instructional video #970974GV

How long's it been since you did a headstand? Elementary school? Never? That is sad. We are here to help you with your problem. Headstand is my favorite pose, because its effects are so immediate and obvious. You needn't rely on dubious claims of alleged benefits. You WILL feel more energized and clearheaded. Also it promotes hair growth. I use it in place of afternoon coffee. I use it when I'm tired of simply sitting on a lawn chair. Today we're doing Tripod Headstand, which is the version you probably did as a kid.


Uncle Joe humoring me at grandma's

Tripod headstand is a bit easier to learn than traditional headstand, because you can come into it in stages, resting your weight on the backs of your arms. In today's video, Katelyn teaches and a muppet demos the steps into tripod headstand. Start by making your tripod — two hands, and the crown of your head on the mat. Don't put your hands up beside your ears unless you want to flail around like a fish. Come onto the balls of your feet and walk in towards your face as far as you can. Bring one knee at a time to sit on the back of your arms. This is a fine place to stay, building strength and getting used to having some weight on your head. When you're feeling confident enough, bring your toes together and straighten your legs right up. Bam. Good job.

I'm glad I'm wearing shades in this video because I can tell I was making a hundred stupid faces. Also, Katelyn wants you to know that if you like her earrings you can buy them at Yoga Etc. Studio.


katelyn speaks

The whole chanting in class thing used to make me nervous. Shy about my voice and determinedly non-woo, I wanted to leave the spiritual stuff out of the studio. It's personal, right? Also, it just seems a little esoteric. And by esoteric I mean, weird. But, the thing is I noticed that I feel really good after the whole class lights up a nice loud om. I started giving myself over to ommming in the classes I attended, but I was still nervous about doing it in the classes I led. I thought my faithful students would think I finally floated off into yoga space oddity.

Finally one day I said to myself, "Fuck it. I like the om. I like the way it feels and screw it if they think I'm nuts." Now, I always om at the end of class. Sometimes, when I have a particularly big group of students, I greedily make them om three or even five times - getting high on the sound vibration. I don't ask my students if they want to do it, or give them an option. I NEVER ask them if they liked it. I'm sure some of them do like it. I know it probably makes some people uncomfortable. But maybe some of the folks who are still squirmy about it, like I once was, will be surprised at the way it makes them feel and let go and get into it.

So, if you are one of those cats who rolls your eyes at the ol' om, I beseech you: Don't knock it 'till you try it.

Om the divine sound on YouTube has some sweet om-ing illustrated with a bunch of weird stuff. Turn it up!*

- KT

Here are some tattoos not to get

Tamil (cartoon goth style)

Gujarati, Marathi, and Hindi

Balinese (fave)

Tibetan

*The ghost of (Ronnie Van Zant compels you. )


TMI

No beer and not much asana for me while I'm on antibiotics and trying to get rid of the plague. Lying here on this futon has given me time to reflect upon many things, such as, this futon is not comfortable; this college football game is boring; and hey, a lizard just jumped from my bookshelf onto a chair. But I've also been thinking about the healing powers of yoga, and how I'm obviously out of balance, being sick like this. As I see it, the ultimate point of yoga is happiness. And by happiness I more or less mean freedom from pain, which means moving out the bad shit, internally, freeing up channels for the good shit. I think of it as a process of clearing out blockages, like Drain-o through hairballs. It means having enough mental clarity to not accidentally leave your Diva cup in for 24 hours, causing a urinary tract infection, and then not treating it until it becomes a kidney infection. Ladies, avoid this.

An aside wherein I attempt to explain my love of yoga, while feverish

I'm vastly oversimplifying, as I am no serious student of the Yoga Sutras or Classical Yoga or traditional Indian medicine or even exercise science so I can't claim to understand why capital-Y Yoga works, but it seems to. To me it's not so much a matter of faith as it is experiment and observation. I'm as agnostic about it as any other system. People see patterns, and develop theories around them to explain the universe or themselves or their place in the universe. If a theory proves to be a good tool, if it helps us make sense of things, to predict things, to understand things, or to be happier or more fulfilled, then we keep it in the toolkit. Many people think astrology is a false system of understanding things. Most people think Scientology is ludicrous. And it is. But each has adherents, or users. I believe yoga works, but I no more "believe in" it than I do gravity or Christianity or chakras. All are frameworks to understand observed phenomena. I know I'm headed down the slippery path of relativism here, and that's ok. It all depends on what your aim is. Darwinism is richer than Creationism when it comes to explaining evolution. Creationism is more useful if you don't want people thinking too much. My own experiences have persuaded me that yoga is a very useful tool for understanding and improving ourselves. (And I understand that space is curved around massive objects which makes apples fall down from trees instead of up, but that's still just a way to understand something.)

Nasadiya Sukta

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

The Nasadiya Sukta (after the incipit ná ásat "not the non-existent") is the 129th hymn of the 10th Mandala of the Rigveda. It is concerned with cosmology and the origin of the universe. It is known for its skepticism. It ends with:

Who really knows? Who shall declare it here?

Whence was it born? Whence issued this creation?

Even the Gods came after its emergence.

Then who can tell from whence it came to be?

None knows when creation has arisen;

Whether He made it or did not make it,

He who surveys it in the highest heaven,

Only He knows, or maybe even He knows not

Back to yoga

So yoga. Through yoga practice we restore our bodies to health, we calm our minds, and we make space in ourselves as we chip away at our anxieties, and neuroses and insecurities and un-useful habits. I have seen this and experienced it. We are made up of complex systems and we live in this world of infinite complex systems. When we have problems—body problems, heart problems, head problems—everything is thrown out of wack. And that imbalance reverberates through every system messed-up little you comes into contact with. And you spread your problems by losing control of your emotions, and your Jeep. That's why when you practice you're doing a favor for everyone.

So here I am sick, because I was not self-aware enough. Because I was lazy. And probably because it's hard for me to stay hydrated and electrolyted, which compromises my kidneys. I live in a hot (awesome) climate and I teach hot yoga, so I sweat a lot, and I drink coffee and obviously beer. I think those combined stressors are taxing my systems. One of those systems being my brain, which should be smart enough to remove a menstrual cup. Well, live and learn.

In closing, Waffles is always doing yoga. She's perfectly balanced.

Bonus action shot exhibiting mad hops and precision tail control.

- JM


readers say heeeeeey

While we're waiting for KT's essay on OM, the people have spoken about whatever. WHAT'S WRONG AND WHAT'S RIGHT WITH AMERICA TODAY? By the end of this post you should be able to answer those questions.

By the way, the other day I was jogging down by the bay, and a guy approached me running the other way. As he passed he said, "You run like a 65-year old."

Asshole.

A Job for Beerasana?

Maybe you should go on Wife Swap, and try to teach King Curtis your brand of yoga. I know this is really old, but I just found it and cannot stop watching. Fried salad! Bacon! Little suitcases! And the “after” reveal that shows the family eating fruit...as long as its been dipped in a chocolate fountain.

Long Live King Curtis!

— Sallypants (Chicago)

Cats, Liz, Colbert, Drusg, and all things good

Crazy Letters to the Editor from Bob's Hometown Paper

We will not let this popular feature die. Thank you, Huntington (WV) Herald-Dispatch! And Bob.

Poll worker wasn't very impressive

I voted in the Oct. 4 special election for governor. At the polling place I was greeted by a worker dressed up in a "young urban white punk" costume. After listening to his garbled instructions, it occurred to me that it wasn't an act. He really was what he seemed.

I guess this job could have been some kind of plea-bargained community service. Or, maybe the West Virginia secretary of state is trying raise her "street cred." Regardless, I miss the "old days" of properly attired poll workers who seemed to enjoy their work.

Alec Plymale

Huntington

(Bob has the chutzpah to add "your people.")

It's Love

Finally, Les (DC) has sent an adorable photo of her husbandman Oscar and Jay from Season 1 Project Runway getting all huggy on each other.


katelyn speaks

Yesterday I taught a class to a group of 5th grade students at Academy Prep in South St. Petersburg. Academy Prep is a donation-supported charter school that enrolls all of its students based on need and gives them full scholarships to attend. The school is located in a tough area where the neighboring public schools boast about a 35% high school graduation rate. When the owner of one of the studios where I teach texted me asking if I'd like to lead class for a group of 5th graders that Thursday, I jumped on it. I had no idea what I was signing up for.

My class was to be the weekly installment of a "fit for life" program run by a veritable saint who I know only as Lynn. She volunteers her afternoon, once a week, to bring fitness and nutrition to these kids. When I spoke to her on the phone about teaching a class, she told me that she would provide everything for the kids but added "you bring your patience." Okay.

When I got there, Lynn told me that we can't call it yoga. She had prepped the kids the week before, telling them we were to have a yoga class, and one of the mothers called the school and complained that the spirituality of yoga was not in synch with her kid's faith. Unfortunately, that's something that keeps a lot of people off the mat [like this bloatface -ed]. I think I'm one of the most spiritually irreverent and un-religious teachers you could have, so this mom's worries seemed unfounded. But, alright, we'll call it core strengthening.

I thought I'd start with a calming breathing exercise called nadi shodana (alternate nostril breathing). This quickly proved impossible as everyone was snorting and choking through it. Nevermind. I tried some short warm-uppy stuff of the sort adults appreciate, but that was soon rejected with a "Can we do something else now?" Shit. So I got them moving but they could not stop talking to each other. There were two other adults in the room whose full-time job during my class was to walk around trying to hush everybody up. It was NOT easy for them. I just kept on rolling with it, trying all different kinds of moves, and checking my watch like every two minutes. They did a pretty good job in tree. Tree is a feel good pose that everybody can agree about. Phew. Then I did a bunch of sun salutation-y things to try and wear them out. I added major sound effects to get them participating. This worked. "BOOM!" "He-eeey!" They responded much better when I gave them a way to be vocal that wasn't disruptive.


Most people can agree about Tree.

One girl requested that we do "burger." I had no idea what the hell she was talking about but she kept asking for it, and so, grateful that she was paying attention to me at all, I finally invited her to demonstrate it. I'll be damned if this little lady didn't roll right back into Halasana — plow pose. I was so psyched! Yes, darling, we will definitely do burger! (This is the only place that I could find a connection between burger and Halasana: Kitteh Style.)

When it was time for Savasana, corpse pose, I told them all to lay down and be quiet — that we were going to pretend we were dead. The other two teachers were walking around reminding the kids that dead people do not talk. One girl responded loudly that dead people DO fart, though. (And she is correct: this or this). The rest of Savasana passed with with various farting noises emanating from different corners of the room, lots of laughing, one girl singing, and me walking around the room repeating "Shhhhhhhhhh" as calmly as I could.

Maybe I'm projecting my own love of yoga and my own knowledge of its benefits, but it did seem to me that the students were behaving better at the end of class and listening more to Lynn. But that could also be because she had the snacks. I'll never know. But I do know if they ask me to come back and teach not-yoga again, I'm gonna say hell-to-the-yeah!


In Savasana, J demonstrates how putting a towel over a kid makes him quieter, just like a bird.

- KT


catgut

Two Real Things:

  1. You may have the wrong kind of 6-pack abs.
  2. Being strong in the middle is more important than being strong on the ends.

Your "core" is your whole torso, your hips, abs, back, butt and shoulders. Building these muscles gives you functional strength, as opposed to dysfunctional strength, which is what gets you through holiday family dinners. When your middle is strong, you can efficiently transfer that massive power to your limbs, resulting in knuckle sandwiches or "The Touch of Death." Take it from Katelyn. Her middle is so strong I fear she might accidentally kill me in her sleep, boa constrictor-style.

I feel like the cover of Cosmo right now: SEVEN MINUTES A DAY TO A FLATTER TUMMY. Also, THE ONE TEXT YOU SHOULD NEVER SEND HIM. And, THE NAUGHTIEST SEX TIPS OF 2011. And, HOW TO MAKE YOUR CLEAVAGE LOOK THIS HOT. (Real! Real! Real!)

Beerasana Presents: 7-Minute Yoga Abs.
Starring: Katelyn and Waffles


other people

I'm trying to get the voiceover recorded for our new abs video, but Waffles isn't cooperating. Apparently the cat joined up with the Screen Actors Guild when I wasn't looking. I sentenced her to solitary in the bathroom closet and hit play.

Meanwhile, I like these kids out in Bellevue, WA, Kinetic Vigilantes. I like their look and their attitude, and they generously post instructional videos every Tuesday on their YouTube channel, so subscribe, bookmark, etc. And while you're over there, let the Power of Internets Compel You to subscribe to Beerasana's YouTube channel, too. We'll be posting videos every week, too. Once we resolve our labor issues.

I taught Eka Pada Koundiyanasana II and Astavakrasana in class the other night, but most of my students looked at me like I was crazy. Half at least tried, and some have got it down. But this dude can transition from one to the other, which takes mad strength and stretchiness. They call them 8 Limb and Scissor Pose, in the Martin Luther tradition. Check him out.


truths

I ran a contest on Beerasana's Facebook page and Robyn won the right to name today's post. I won't tell you the context of the conversation, but it had to do with her disparaging my look. Why would Robyn make fun of this?

Hey, why don't YOU "Like" Beerasana's Facebook page? Every time we don't get Liked Mark Zuckerburg comes up with a new way to confuse my grandma.

I'm coming down with something, but I went to teach my usual power flow class tonight. Only four women showed up, my regulars, three of them around the mid-century mark I'd say. I dig these ladies because they are willing to try anything and they never complain. Which is a lot more than I can say for myself. Also, two have cute French-Canadian accents and the other one just offered to take me waterskiing. Perks! At the end of class they all did headstands against the wall and they were psyched. It was great.

Since I was feeling kind of pumped despite being stricken with the plague, I stuck around for the class after mine, a Foundations class for beginners. This is a very good entry-level class offered by Yoga Etc. Studio that I wish more people would take. In a beginner's class, you move slowly and learn the basic poses and spend a lot of time stretching and resting. Last night a woman came to my hot power class who had never done yoga before, and, as I feared, she fled midway through, leaving her mat and towel in a defeated little heap. I felt bad, because it was 105 degrees in the room and the class is intended to be hard — it's hard even for me to teach. My clothes are soaked through within 10 minutes and I'm frequently panting like a dog, which I'm not supposed to be doing. But I can't just drop into child's pose in the middle of class myself, so gasping for breath happens. It's a damn lot of talking. Anyway, I really hope this woman is not put off of yoga because of her experience. Yoga really is for everyone, and the reason I've got this blog here aside from my insatiable need for attention is to persuade people to make this practice a regular part of their lives. Yoga makes you happier, and the happier people are, the fewer Republicans boo soldiers and the more lesbians kiss on airplanes.

I know you've got excuses and I've got answers: I am also very inflexible; I do not actually enjoy exercising; during classes I am often miserable and angry, even (especially?) when I take my girlfriend's class. Yoga is the best thing for a terrible mood, for when you get dumped, or fired, or when you have family visiting, the kind you don't really like. Yoga is the best thing for a hangover, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and get your boozy ass to class. Are you put off by "breathing?" Tell that to lung cancer. Are you afraid of meditating or chanting or words you don't recognize? Afraid it's too woo-woo, or that Jesus wouldn't approve? Dude. My mom, the Born Again African Missionary, comes to my class. By the way, you're not getting any younger. Or stronger. Or smarter. Probably. After class, on the other hand, you are happier, stronger, and more flexible in body, brain, and spirit, which is that part of you that makes you awesome or not awesome. You might also have a headache and smell bad, and for that I recommend you drink more water.

To summarize, unless you can't find a sitter, you should look for a class you like. It may even make you More attractive.


The point is, I'm addicted to gambling.

Let's spell it out for the sake of an About page: Just what is the connection between beer and yoga? Because yoga's practiced by a bunch of self-righteous quasi-religious acrobats, and beer drinkers are fat and unsophisticated and probably wearing baseball caps. Hm.

Through a long process of self-selection and un-selection by others, through years of purchasing and then abandoning ballcaps; over a lifetime of unchallenged atheism (until LSD turned me agnostic); on my journey from team sports to lonely treadmills at the gym to full-blown sedentarism, I've usually been surrounded by people who drink. It seems to me that drinkers on the whole are social people, people who love people, who need to hang out, catch up, bounce ideas, gossip, and fall down. We are a people who enjoy pushing certain boundaries of decorum and common sense, in search of bigger Truths, and bigger Fun. I believe that by and large people who drink have a strong desire for union. And the word yoga means union. So there we go.

And then of course there's the flip side. Beer becomes habitual, and we get lazy, replacing most creative, healthy, and productive endeavors with beer. We get fat. We get belligerent. It's not pretty. We all know people or are people who say they want to drink a bit less, to accomplish a bit more, but habits are hard to break.

So, yoga. Simply, and without a need for any woo-woo: go to class and at the very least you'll be off the streets for a couple of hours, and that's always good, especially if they're happy hours. A good class is also going to leave you blissed-the-fuck-out for a while, alleviating, however briefly, the normal urge to chill out with one or 11 beers. Thirdly, obviously, yoga burns calories, and we beer drinkers have calories to burn. I've found that slowly, as months pass and I practice more and teach more, I just sacrifice fewer nights to beer. Now, my "less beer" is another man's binge, but one thing we learn from yoga is that we are all where we need to be right now. And right now I'm drinking a PBR with orange juice and writing about yoga.

Beerasana's here to persuade you that yoga is for everyone. And I'm trying on this new slogan: Beer will not improve your yoga, but yoga will improve your beer. Especially that first one after a hot class. Bottoms up!


home movies
By Nathalia Estrada

September 21, 2011


*snicker*

Tomorrow, hopefully, I'm going to post a little beginner's flow, and sometime this week we'll make a murderous abs series by request. But today we have Katelyn demonstrating a fun arm balance with a funner name: the Upward Cock Pose. It's named after chickens. In Sanskritia Land, they call it Urdhva Kukkutasana. Ku-ku! Also called Siracha. It's good on everything.

We drove north to Asheville, NC for the weekend to attend a lovely wedding. The extreme socializing and resultant crispiness DID NOT PREVENT YOGA. We yoga'd in the parking lot of the Day's Inn. Did people make fun of us? Yes. We also did some yogas at a Rest Area in Georgia. Don't let traveling get in your way, wee yogis. Don't hide your yoga in the closet. Be out and proud-ish.

Here we go here we go here we go*

Warm up. Stretch your 17 hip muscles. DON'T MISS ANY. Ok, if you can get your legs into Lotus without using your hands, this is a good way to get into the pose. If you can't get into Lotus (it's called Padmasama in yoga-ese) without yanking your ankles onto your knees, then you have to do it the other way — from seated, crawling your knees up your arms. Creepy.

1. Wide-legged forward fold (Prasarita Padottanasana)

2. Tripod headstand with legs in Lotus. No animals were harmed in the making of this pose.

3. Ass Down

Here KT lowers her knees onto her triceps, as high up towards her armpits as possible (I really hate that word, but very occasionally it can't be avoided). She then backs that ass down toward the asphalt, which draws her shoulder blades down her back and makes her head lift up off the ground. It's a lot about counterbalancing, head vs. butt. It's also about maintaining good, steady control. Grip the mat, and up you go. Notice how nice my foot looks.

5.Cock Up

Hold it for as long as you can [joke]. Gaze up, and breathe. If possible, get someone to take a picture. Ta-dum! Nice job, KT.

This dude at Om Shanti does a cool flow into it: down dog to tripod headstand, to side crows, to upward cock. If you can't do the upward cock, maybe you can just work on the headstand into side crows. That's what I'm going to work on tomorrow. Goodnight!

*My sister's upstairs neighbor's announcement that the magic is happening.


Climbing shit

Sometimes it seems like Beerasana might turn into a repository of photos and videos of Katelyn doing things. Wrong! Eventually I will also do something. I'm just....so busy....computing. A nice dude named Eric took us to a boulder field in the forest near Brevard, NC. He showed us the not-ropes. Did you know climbing has a crazy specialized language? Watch me murder it. So, being strong and flexible is good for climbing. It's also good to not be a wuss. You've gotta eradicate your ego. I failed on those last two counts. Maybe the last four.

Climbers don't seem to realize there are easier ways to get to the top. See?

They spend a lot of time puzzling out their "problems," and then throw themselves at these rocks. Meanwhile I have eaten a sandwich, peed, and walked up the backside in time for the photo op.

There's a lot of resting and shooting the shit. I wanted to read my book, but Eric had told me "there's no reading on the crash pad." So I sat and learned things. Like that I don't enjoy doing things I'm not good at. Lame.

Eric is, I believe, painting the route with a chalk ball. This boulder might look small, and it is. But size doesn't matter with these people.

Guns.

To summarize, yoga is part of a complete breakfast.

September 13, 2011


being dismayed

The cool photo above is of my sister, as a crow, on some rocks, shot by my brother-in-law, Mr. AJ Hurley.

Watch me turn non-yoga content into yoga content.

  • From LD: The Ruins of Detroit. I would love to do a yoga photo shoot in any of these beautiful places. Entropy wins! From the photographers' site: "Ruins are the visible symbols and landmarks of our societies and their changes, small pieces of history in suspension. The state of ruin is essentially a temporary situation that happens at some point, the volatile result of change of era and the fall of empires. This fragility, the time elapsed but even so running fast, lead us to watch them one very last time: being dismayed, or admire, making us wondering about the permanence of things. Photography appeared to us as a modest way to keep a little bit of this ephemeral state." (English is not their first language)
  • From Bob: "This guy is totally going to have to find a new line of work." TV Weatherman Wakes Up Next to Dead Guy in Bathtub. Rock bottom is a great time to take up yoga.
  • From the Efbees, Mr. David Roth: THE MERCY RULE - EVERY DAY IS 9/11 IN THE NFL , at VICE. And for actual football, more or less, Physically Unable to Perform: An NFC Preview, at GQ. FOOTBALL! The reason I'll be moving my Sunday evening class to the morning, real soon.

I'm headed up to Asheville/Grandma's for some wedding(s)/grandma-visiting and of course, some yogas. I'm bringing my machine, so keep checking back and refreshing your browser, incessantly. Thanks.

September 7, 2011


things that make you go coo

Esme Cloud (Jr.), also known as Mini Peril (or Mini Pearl), daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Yellow Peril (perennial Fantasy Football champion contender), also known as C.C-G. also known as C. Cupcakes.

September 5, 2011


did you know

A couple of guys in my hot class wear these watches that record calories burnt with dubious accuracy. They've been reporting numbers in the 1,100-1,200 range. I'm just saying, that's not gonna hurt your beer-love-handles any.

One of the guys gave me a watch but I haven't figured out how to use it yet.

September 4, 2011


try this at home

The other day before class one of my regulars stopped me in the studio lobby and asked me about this pose, which one of my subs had taught while I was gone (more on subs later). I had to admit I'd never been taught it myself, had never even attempted it. So today we have Katelyn doing a demo of How to Get Into Dragonfly Pose, and also a showing us a short flow we can use to set up our Dragonfly, to practice at home or to use in your class. Dragonfly (also known as Hummingbird) is more impressive-looking than it is difficult, so it's definitely a good bang-for-your-buck pose if you want to show off. It's a lot like Side Crow, but with one elbow supporting the foot of your bent leg, and the other supporting the hip of your extended leg, rather than floating. My lovely pardner's going to show you how to do it in this video shot in my dirty apartment. Don't make fun of her little lisp. She's sensitive about it.

It's not quite so easy as she makes it look . You've got to have some core and arm strength, obviously. What makes it hard for me is my lack of flexibility. Getting your foot onto the back of your arm will be limited by tight hips, ankles, and a can't-do attitude, and making it stick there is limited by slippery sweat. This pose will probably never fly in a hot class.

Katelyn's flow below includes a little twisting action and some hip and adductor stretching to help get you warmed up for the fly. By the way, tonight Gainesville Native and personal Top Ten fave John Vanderslice is playing in Ybor! So I picked "Trance Manual" from Pixel Revolt as our background music today. Here we go.

Sequence: Tadasana, Urdhva Hastasana, Uttanasana, Ardha Uttanasana, Chaturanga Dandasana, Urdvha Mukha Svansana, Adho Mukha Svansana, Crescent Warrior with twisties, Warrior III, Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana, Dragonfly, Standing Split, Crescent. Rinse. Repeat.

Hey, wouldn't you like to subscribe to our YouTube channel? Do it here.

September 2, 2011


study a broad

I got my first passport stamp and my first swim with the world's largest fish all in the same weekend. Holbox means "black hole" in the Mayan language, which doesn't seem very nice. The island is off the top right corner of the Yucantan peninsula, so it's close, as the bird flies, to Florida. Being not birds, we instead had to fly commercial to Ft. Lauderdale, then to Cancun, where we spent an insane night at Coco Bongo. The next crispy morning found us speeding north in a van to the town of Chiquila, where we hired a boat to be ferried to Hotel Mawimbi(!). I believe this is the best way I've ever arrived anywhere.

Not much was cheap in Holbox. This $3 drop-in class or $25/month is probably the best deal we saw for anything on the little island.

But our busy schedule of chasing giant fish kept us from attending any organized classes. So we D.I.Y.'d. Here's Rebecca doing a wide-legged Parivrtta Janu Sirsasana.

Grabbing onto the toes with the opposite hand is the hard part for most people. Here I'm explaining to my sister that if you place your hand behind your head instead, with your elbow pointing straight up, you can still get some of that good spine-twisting-stretching and chest opening effect.

We've covered a little yoga, and now for two of my other great passions: beer and cats. This one wandered into our room while I was making a delicious manmosa. More later...

August 31, 2011


good ideas

I did not invent the manmosa. But I have humbly attempted to popularize it locally, with some success. You may call me "Splash."

Recipe

  • 1.) One can or bottle of Miller High Life*
  • 2.) A splash of Orange Juice**

*Most cheap and light beers will do. Pabst, Modelo, and Yuengling have all been extensively tested.
**Or up to 1/4 of your beverage. To taste!


great ideas

For my sister's birthday, six of us are going to the Yucatan peninsula to swim with Whale Sharks, The World's Largest Fish™. This was my sister's wish and I'm kind of shocked it's happening. LOOK AT THEM! Thank you.

What about yoga? We'll do some handstands on the beach. Sand is good for falling down.

August 24, 2011


peacock feather scorpion thing

Katelyn's put together a short flow you can practice at home or teach in class if you feel like working on your forearm balance. It kind of hurts my shoulders just watching it. Strengthens arms, abs, back, and obviously, shoulders. Good for if you're stressy or "mildly" depressed. Don't break your neck! Thanks. Soundtrack optional.

What it is: Tadasana, Urdhva Hastasana, Uttanasana, Ardha Uttanasana, Chaturanga Dandasana, Urdvha Mukha Svansana, Adho Mukha Svansana, Dolphin, Dolphin pushups, Pincha Mayurasana, Ardha Vrschikasana, Forearm Plank.

August 18, 2011


Hear Ye: first draft of a statement of mission

Hey yoga peeps and former readers of Heck's Kitchen. Welcome to this new Internet Concern, wherein we shall endeavor to persuade you (even you) of the merits of yoga practice; to mildly entertain you; and to be unlike Yoga Journal. Yoga Journal is the magazine that largely created our Industry, and for my giant yoga paycheck I thank them. Nevertheless, here commences an unheroic effort to shape a new aesthetic and attitude outside of what is sold as yoga today in the U.S. Maybe it's because I'm kind of a slob and often angry, but the YJ's clean, perfect models with their permament face fulls of benevolence, practicing in pastel-painted rooms with billowing white curtains on the tops of cliffs, annoy me. Beerasana shall eschew the typeface Papyrus. We will mock ridiculous products, like yoga toe socks, even if they're modeled on hot naked ladies (unless those hot naked ladies are my friends, and they are nakedly mocking yoga toe socks). (Unless yoga toe socks wishes to advertise on our site, in which case we will create a new mission statement that says, Buy Yoga Toe $ocks.)

Very broadly, we are here to talk about yoga. "Yoga" might sometimes mean pictures of my cat. Below is a backfill of half-assed yoga-related content dated back to 2002 from the old Kitchen. I hope you will sample that stuff and decide to come back for more.

To summarize, yoga is for everyone, even you.

Asana = Seat
Beer = beer
Belly up.

August 6, 2011


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